Simply put, I just don't give a shit anymore.
When it comes to comics and cartoons, to me, DC is superior to Marvel. Even now when I find myself drawn to more Marvel series I still love the DC stuff I'm absorbing so much more. I'm just drawn to the world, the characters, the universe as a whole. It's common knowledge that DC has been on the rocks for a while now. Final Crisis was a bit bungled, the New 52 was the most haphazard method of a universal reboot I've seen since Heroes Reborn, retelling old stories worse, smooshing the timeline down to an unrealistically small amount of time, the darkening of so many characters in ways that not only did not fit them, but were just not enjoyable to read. Through it all there have been specks of light, little bits of hope of that universe I fell in love with so many years ago. Now DC Rebirth is coming, and after reading the introduction issue, I'm nervous, but hopeful. I hope DC can get it's shit together.
See how much I don't want to talk about the topic at hand? Out of thirty two movies I enjoy eight of them. Eight. Three fourths of their film catalog is shit. We attempted to grin and bear it for a while, but the shit taste seeped past our lips and slowly worked it ways around our teeth, decaying them every step of the way until the only thing our tongues could register was shit. Even the movies I like are tainted in one way or another. Let's go ahead and get the positive out of the way now.
The Dark Knight, like V, this is another movie I have no real interest in revisiting with any kind of frequency. Christopher Nolan's take on the mythos of the caped crusader is widely regarded as amazing, but I can't fully agree. He's too stuck in the real world. Two-Face, the Joker's antics, cellphone maps of the world, last second escapes, prison cities, that voice, and so many other elements just don't fit well. But I cannot deny how great The Dark Knight is. Heath Ledger added a whole new, just as enticing, interpretation to the Joker alongside Mark Hamill and Jack Nicholson. Aaron Eckhart is Two-Face. Many of the scenes could be considered iconic. Dark Knight is a great film, it just doesn't lend itself to watching multiple times due to it's length and how much of the film is spent building the plot up.
Watchmen, holy, shit. This movie is comic book perfection for me. Granted, I hadn't read the comic prior to watching this movie, but (aside from the slow-mo being a tad bit overused) everything about this movie is pure joy. I've watched the extended ultimate cut more than a handful of times, and while I don't think the animated pirate story fits well in the cinematic version of the plot, I think everything else about it is simply perfect. Argh. Sny-ugh. Did you feel that? A throbbing pain in my head. Ugh... Sorry. The Losers, starring the Comedian, Captain America and new Uhura, I honestly can't remember the movie very well other than knowing I loved the cast and thought it was a fun little action romp. Looking at the poor reviews I'm a little interested in re-watching this, maybe I liked even less movies than I thought. And the last movi-FUCK! OW! Did... did you not feel that? God. Damn.
Man of Steel, this movie. This movie right here gave me false hope for the future of the DC cinematic universe. So many people out there hate this movie unfairly. In my eyes the only two things of major concern in this movie are how fucking horrible of a father Papa Kent is, and how Amy Adams is not Lois Lane. Everything else worked well for me. Henry Cavill has a good Superman look, his powers were visually shown well, his history of helping people was explored, the fights with the other kryptonians were intensely satisfying to watch and his final encounter with Zod (I love Michael Shannon, dude is such a great crazy person actor) resonated with me. I don't get how people write this movie off because Superman kills Zod when Zod gives him no other choice. It isn't perfect, but I thought the low points were growing pains that would get ironed out, boy how wrong I wa-AAARGH! SNYDER! THAT'S RIGHT! I REMEMBER!
GOD DAMN FUCKING ZACK SNYDER.
He's hurt me. Not physically, but my soul will forever be less than it could have been because this man tricked someone into thinking he should lead the charge of an entire superhero universe. It's odd looking at his (measly) filmography for me. Dawn of the Dead's remake was really good in my opinion, and I've already explained I think Watchmen might be the best superhero movie (Super being the main contender for the throne in my eyes) and that Man of Steel was a solid diamond in the rough. But no. He had to take it all away from me.
I'm not going to talk about how bad Batman vs. Superman is, well, at least not anymore. When I first watched it (as a shitty cam, which is honestly better than that pile of shit deserved), I wrote my thoughts on Facebook. This is all you'll hear from me specifically about that "movie":
"To expand on my thoughts: Superman doesn't act like Superman. Batman doesn't act like Batman. Wonder Woman was great. Doomsday wasn't Doomsday. Jesse is NOT Lex (or his son which they might go with later, still NOT Alex Luther). Amy is NOT Lois Lane, like at all, I like her as an actress, but wow what a miscast. "MARTHA!" "MARTHA?" "MARTHA!" Fuck that whole "plot point". Why would Batman just FORGET his Kryptonite Spear when it's his last bit of it (HE WOULDN'T). Next time on Justice League: A Robot Man! A Man Who Can Swim! Flash's dream/future message/whatever was hilarious in the worst way possible. Also, what the fuck was that? Vision of the future, a dream? Ugh. I can't think of a single positive thing about BvS, I had such high hopes after being one of the few people who thought Man of Steel was good and the missteps it did have were growing pains. No, the good bits turned out to be the growing pains. This pains me to right because I'm so much more of a DC fan than Marvel, but that's probably why it disgusted me so much."
I just don't have it in me. I didn't want to re-watch Green Lantern or Dark Knight Rises. I didn't want to experience the Aquaman TV Pilot or find out how badly they mangled Jonah Hex (played by an actor I love even!). They did. They destroyed all hope I had. The Road to Justice never was, it was just another highway to hell. No, it's worse, it's a boulevard of broken dreams. Yeah. That shitty. I can't get it out of my mouth. Everything I eat, tasteless grime. Thanks Batman vs. Superman.
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