Pulp of a Dead Horse: Mario Kart 8

Mario Kart 8
Kart Racing
1-2 Players (Local) 1-12 (Online)
System: Wii U
Developer: Nintendo EAD
Year of Release: 2014
Beaten: July 20th, 2014

(Wow, this wound up being way larger than I expected. If you just want to see my opinions on the levels and the DLC overall the levels are bolded throughout, and the last few paragraphs are my actual criticism, plus a bonus?)

I haven't stopped playing this, I can't really put my finger on it, but something about this game has worked its way into my psyche and somehow I'm always up for a round of this game. I've always liked Mario Kart, but I've never really been too into them. I think DS is the closest runner up in terms of play time and interest. With 8 I found myself dreading three starring each Grand Prix as that meant a little less content to work through, contrary to some of my initial complaints. Before the latest DLC came out I was finishing up the game, I managed a three star on the final cup but I didn't want to stop. So I decided I'd go for some time trials, something I never really do, I had already done a cup and half's worth, so I figured I'd do about that many. In that sitting I wound up beating every single time trial available. In a desperate attempt to forcibly extend my play session, short of booting up some multiplayer (like a normal person), I decided to collect all the stamps, Miiverse exclusive things of no real importance, which unlock one by one by beating a Grand Prix in 1st as every character. Again, all in the same sitting. I fucking love Mario Kart 8.

That's nice and all, but why bring it up again? The answer is threefold. New content has come out! A chance to cover new content is neat, something I want to do more of when appropriate, and while, granted, Mario Kart might not be the best game to cover again, I really fucking love Mario Kart 8. After reading my first entry on it again I want to set the record straight on a few things as I sounded a lot more irritated with the game then, which at times, still holds true. Lastly, that clever ass name is honestly the major driving goal behind writing this. Let that paint a picture of my priorities for you.

Before I get too far into the meat of this entry proper keep in mind I'm not really going to reiterate what I said the first time around, think of this as an old school expansion pack, speaking of which, new content! Shortly after I posted my initial thoughts on the game Nintendo rolled out an update that added a few small, but crucial, additions. Most importantly, they actually switched the "Next Race" and the "View Highlights" options after a race! The amount of time saved and groans avoided was overwhelming! Almost as importantly pressing the minus button brings up a map of the track as well as where everyone is, an addition that should have just been in the core game, but at least they quickly rectified the situation. The only other really beneficial feature that got added was saving your last chosen character and kart combination (sadly only for player one, but that does make sense). Some other minor tweaks were had that I'm sure I appreciate, but they don't stand out. Strangely enough Nintendo and Mercedes entered into a deal out of seemingly nowhere and three karts based on real Mercedes vehicles made it in. Some claimed this felt very inappropriate mixing real world stuff with Mario, but I’m indifferent on the matter. It was very odd though, the karts themselves are fine, but I never really use them.

A few months following that first update came the first pack of DLC in November, The Legend of Zelda x Mario Kart. Holy. Shit. Link in my kart racing! I have.... never ever asked for this, but once announced it opened a flood gate of possibilities in my mind as to what they could do in a possible future Nintendo-wide kart game (Super Smash Kart?). This pack adds two new cups, three new characters and four new karts, all of which are pretty great. Being able to play as Link is awesome, and he actually fits in quite well, it would have been cool if they could have fit his sword in somehow (as an item would have been mind-blowing). The other two characters being the less awesome Tanooki Mario and Cat Suit Peach, I'll get into my issues with them a bit later though. The karts are pretty decent all around, the Blue Falcon probably being the biggest stand out in terms of sheer "woo-hoo" factor, the Hylian Bike looks swell, but I'm not much of a bike user (though I can actually somewhat drive them now at least!), the Tanooki Jeep is oddly not a quad class kart and works fine but I don't really use it ever. Shockingly my least favorite visually of the bunch, the B-Dasher (the main kart from Mario Kart DS), turned out to go on to be my most commonly used vehicle. My distaste for it was never really genuine, just disappointment from seeing a recycled kart.

Honestly though, the new tracks are the main reason for checking out the DLC, and overall it provides a great experience. Two new cups have been added consisting of four tracks each. The Egg cup starts off pretty weakly in my opinion:

Yoshi Circuit,a retro track from the Gamecube entry Double Dash, was never a track I had any close affinity to, and opening with a reused track rubs me the wrong way.

Excitebike Arena, the first of the crossover tracks, is pulled off perfectly. The track may be a boring oval shape, but matches the Excitebike feeling. The coolest feature though is that the ramps and jumps and obstacles are slightly randomly rearranged each time you load the track, I'm not sure if the algorithm has a set pattern or anything but it helps keep the otherwise stale track a bit fresh. My only real criticism is that they could have perfectly matched the Excitebike feeling had they made the track the outside of a ring shape, removing all turning from the course but that might have made the track TOO simple.

Dragon Driftway, an original track, I really love the aesthetic to the area, and the incredibly windy track lives up to the name. It fits well and is easy enough to maneuver through, if you know what to expect, for a windy course. I like it.

Mute City, a crossover track with F-Zero, which as a series has been shat on by Nintendo for too long (and I say that as someone who is not a huge fan of the series), and referencing the series to this extent is either refreshing, or rubbing salt on the wound. I prefer the optimistic look at it, some F-Zero is better than none in my book. Needless to say the track melds the two racing games together wonderfully, replacing coins with those healing pads, and nearly non-stop boosting potential make this not only a pleasant homage, but a joy to speed through.

The Triforce cup is the second addition.

Wario's Gold Mine, a retro track from the Wii iteration of Mario Kart, I actually really enjoy the track itself. Playing it is a lot of fun. Recycling tracks (especially from so recent a game) just bothers me, I apologize for reiterating that fact, but it'll keep coming up. Like in how the next track is not only a recycled track, but the THIRD version of:

Rainbow Road, a retro track the SNES version. Now to immediately appear as a hypocrite, I must say, I don't mind nearly as much seeing SNES or GBA tracks remade. Both being 2D you can really see a difference, and when they actually add in some anti-gravity shenanigans it’s even more refreshing. They didn't do much to this Rainbow Road honestly, but it’s a decent enough course, with a few trick boosts being the only real change.

Ice Ice Outpost, the only original course this in this cup. I struggle to see the connection to Mario as it is so bland, at least graphically. For some reason I actually really enjoy playing through Ice Ice Outpost, it has no real ties to the Mario mythos at large, and the look of it consisting solely of two lanes, one green, one yellow, intersecting throughout an icy region. Truly nothing remarkable, but playing it just feels good to me.

Hyrule Circuit, a crossover track with The Legend of Zelda. At first I didn't enjoy this track much, and I do still have problems with it, but after having gotten more used to racing through it is satisfying. My main issue is that it doesn't feel too much like a Zelda course, I get that it's supposed to be Hyrule Field and the town area surrounding the castle, but they had a huge opportunity here. Racing through dungeons, or Zora Falls, or Death Mountain, or the Lost Woods, or any number of other places would have been so much more thrilling. Focusing on what it isn't instead of what it is isn't very fair though I suppose. It's a fine track, but why is F-Zero getting more love than the eponymous Zelda in the "Mario Kart 8 X Legend of Zelda" pack?>

Mostly my complaints surrounding the first DLC pack are negligible and my own personal preference really. Alongside this pack Nintendo updated the game as well, aside from some minor fixing up of some behind the scenes things, it added in Amiibo support! Oh God Amiibos. I rue the day I finally decide to write at length about them and my overall disdain, but for now let me say the idea of Amiibo is a novel one, if ill thought out and ill-er still executed. The role they play in this game is very minor, by slapping one of the blasted things on your gamepad you can unlock one of ten different costumes for your Mii racer! Yeah, who actually plays as a Mii regularly though? It is a neat enough feature I guess, and it managed to ride that fine line all Amiibo's face between being worthwhile and keeping decent content locked behind a ridiculous thirteen dollar pay wall. If you have some laying around that are compatible (or have some friends with some!) it is a nice little bonus, and nothing else really.

Months pass, children grow old, trees die, and the world keeps on turning. Until the twenty third morning of April of the two thousandth and fifteenth year after the passing of one Jesus Christ when Nintendo finally releases the second DLC pack. I apologize for my foray into the over dramatic, but the wait for this DLC felt agonizing, and the irony is that within a few scant hours I had already "completed" the new content. O, to be a gamer. Cue the Monty Python "get on with it!" joke.

The second pack, Mario Kart 8 X Animal Crossing offers just as much content as the first pack, this time introducing two non-Mario characters, Isabelle and Villager (both a male and female version included) with Dry Bowser rounding out the newcomers. The Animal Crossing additions are great, and I absolutely adore Dry Bowser's look, but I'm much more accustomed to light weight drivers, so he is forever doomed to go unplayed by me sadly. This time the titular crossover game got a lot more love, not only was an extra driver (two if you count both genders) added, but a new themed bike and kart were added. The Streetle is an adorable beetle based kart, seriously, I cannot express how adorable the thing is, the back opens when you boost like little beetle wings even. The City Tripper being the bike, it's really more of a scooter, but not having much experience with bikes leaves me unqualified to really address such a vehicle. Dry Bowser got a pretty badass looking vehicle, but it is sadly a quad, and they, to me, feel like less useful karts, so it too shall go unused for the most part. The last new kart has the same stats as the B-Dasher, the P-Wing. Named after the famous Super Mario Bros 3 item, and designed to look like a sports car it has wound up in my regular rotation of karts. I'd go as far as to say this collection, taken as a whole, is better than the first DLC's offerings.

Spitting in the face of short-lived tradition, this DLC pack has the crossover cup first, fittingly named the Crossing Cup. I'm going to go ahead and kill about four birds with one stone here and now, half of these tracks are updated older tracks, it pisses me off, I would have preferred more new tracks, blah blah blah. The Crossing cup opens with:

Baby Park, another retro track from the Gamecube, which is apparently a fan favorite, I don't know how to fairly judge this track. On the plus side it is incredibly chaotic, it breaks the mold by having seven laps instead of three, items are in nearly constant supply and getting through it doesn't take very much time at all. On the flipside it the shortest track in the game, and is literally just a small oval. When taken into consideration these pros and cons smoosh together for me eliciting a comfortable middling feeling overall.

Cheese Land, a retro track from the GBA, is next up and I actually really enjoy it. The track has a pretty decent layout, and there are quite a few neat little short cuts and lots of extra jump boosts peppered throughout, this is how you update an old course.

Wild Woods, an original course, is set in a Shy Guy inhabited forest and I must say I adore this track. It took me about five plays to realize you're actually starting somewhere along a huge tree vertically going up. The track is very simple, but something about it is so zen for me. Every time I play it everything just melts away and suddenly the race is over. I love it.

Animal Crossing, a crossover track, borrows a bit of the randomization idea from Excitebike, each time you race here it will randomly designate a season and the course changes accordingly. I believe all the same boosting options are there just shuffled about. The track is lovely, and fun to play, but honestly the little details are what make the track for me. Seeing all the major landmarks with their appropriate tunes, various villagers, coins turned into bells, fallen fruits boosting you like a mushroom, hell they even included the money rock! It is pure joy.

The final new cup is called the Bell cup. And once again retro courses act as an appetizer.

Neo Bowser City, a retro track from the 3DS game, is the first race. This is odd for me, as I never played that particular entry it feels new to me, but at the same time my well established opinion should speak for itself. These mixed emotions are like reliving being a teenager. The track itself is alright, being one of the incredibly curvaceous tracks makes it a love it or hate it kind of affair, and honestly it is my least favorite of this design. I do really enjoy the concept aesthetically though.

Ribbon Road, a retro course from the GBA, again showing exactly how to update a pre-exisiting track. I don't have much history with the GBA entry but I think it is safe to assume this is a massive improvement. From the general look of the area, to the neat shortcuts on the blue ribbon segment it all culminates in a very pleasant racing experience.

Super Bell Subway, an original track, at first left me a little disappointed. It is set in a subway, as the Sherlock Holmes' amongst us are sure to have solved by now, and I've never been a huge fan of the urban courses. This one proved me wrong. There are a lot of optional routes to take, usually featuring a bit of risk and reward, I really like when they can figure that aspect into these levels. Plus there is Level 1-2 graffiti on the wall!

Big Blue, another F-Zero crossover course, rounds out the cup. Alongside an awesome musical track this is one of those "point to point" races, so instead of three traditional laps around a course you go from point A to point B. I really enjoy these tracks, Mt. Wario being one of my favorite tracks from the core game, and Big Blue doesn't disappoint. I can see why some people might choose to take these references as a slap to the face, but again, I'd personally rather be optimistic about it. Would another actual Mario track been cool? Or maybe some Star Fox or Metroid love be more appreciated? Well shit, I might have just talked myself out of being optimistic about it... Ha! Jokes aside, all of these tracks range from decent to "fuck yes!" in my book, which is a resounding success in my eyes.

Nintendo updated the game once more alongside the release of the second bunch of DLC, this time... adding more Amiibo support! That's right, now you can scan an additional NINE Amiibos! Bullshit aside, a few of these costumes actually look really nice (Megaman and Pac-Man I'm looking at you, though curiously as I'm fairly sure you aren't Nintendo franchises), but the one Amiibo I do have, Bowser, looks pretty terrible. I guess they went for a biker look, but, eh. I was hoping to rock his luscious mane and bitching turtle shell. Some day... More seriously this update added something none of us were asking for and, unlike 8 Player Smash, it is actually really enjoyable (OOOOOOO-). 200cc was introduced, and holy shit, I honestly don't know if I will ever truly beat this game because of this addition.

I'll level with you, when I first saw footage of this mode I wasn't impressed, they weren't going THAT much faster, but when you get behind the wheel you immediately feel it. This mode gets hard. It's still a great deal of fun, and some of the jumps and shortcuts you can pull off are truly insane. It literally forces you to relearn the game, now you'll need to actually brake at times adding a new level of complexity to drifting that feels amazing once you get used to it, but even still it can be a struggle to force myself into that mindset. Sometimes the levels themselves don't feel like they were built to handle it, using jump boosts has actually sent me way off course, or made me just barely miss the following jump. Most humorously though is that the AI in the game is definitely not programmed to handle it. Watching them fuck up is almost more fun than playing, seeing the AI finally being the one to turn off cliffs, smash into walls, drive into bananas, let obstacles ruin their day, it really is quite cathartic to finally see them making the same human mistakes everyone has suffered through. I'm not sure what inspired 200cc, but I'm grateful they put it in, especially for free. It doesn't truly reinvigorate the experience, but the extra layer of challenge it throws at you feels strangely... good.

Frankly speaking this is DLC done right, while the wait might have felt long its justified as this is wholly new content, not something they chopped off before they released the game hoping to pry deeper into our pockets later. Mario Kart 8 is complete, and these are just some additional doodads that are more than worth picking up. Separately they cost eight bucks each, or you can purchase them together for thirteen. Considering, at least track wise, this adds 50% more content that is incredibly worthwhile. In addition, while it doesn't add much, an extra bonus to having both bits of DLC is that both Shy Guy and Yoshi get eight new color skins to choose from, which is neat at least. This is a model I can not only follow, but I actually believe in. Content getting made after the fact not stripped from the core experience, for a decent price, and buying both unlocks more little goodies, and we haven't even mentioned how fucking fun all the new content is? Sure they cut some corners a bit and could have done a little better, but overall this is an awesome package that takes the best Mario Kart game and just further expands on that greatness. I can only hope Nintendo doesn't bend to some of the more wicked DLC practices out there.

That being said of course, I do have some issues, the most obvious bit being that of how many reused courses there are. I'm not entirely opposed to them, but having more than two tracks per pack hailing from previous entries to the series feels cheap to me. I understand that even the more recent ones still require a bit of an update, but I'll never shake that bias. As mentioned above I wasn't too enthused with Tanooki Mario and Cat Peach getting included as separate characters, this actually kind of permeates the game for me. These should have been costumes. Yoshi, Shy Guy, Miis and Villager all have costume selections. Why couldn't the babies been condensed to a costume select? Same with the Koopalings? This is really personal preference, but I feel they are a waste of a character slot. The Zelda pack crosses over with Zelda as much as it does other series', and that feels a little wrong.

Through updates they've fixed quite a few things, but one major feature is lacking that I still don't fully understand, the ability to restart a race in Grand Prix. If it’s too cheap to restart a race until you get 1st place I understand, but limit the amount of restarts per track, or Prix, or hell, even just a "Restart Grand Prix" would be a decent enough compromise. Needing to restart usually indicated you failed in some way or another, so having to sit through additional loading screens only helps to fuel that irritated fire. Another point of contention was before the release (or purchase) of the DLC it all shows up in your game, taunting you. While I think the DLC is definitely worthwhile for any fan of the game, it still is bad form to wave it in front of people months before release. Really though these are minor things and the only other things I can find to complain about are all really personal preference. Save for the lacking Battle mode.

I was never a huge fan of the mode, but still the sad little bastardized version playable here is just pathetic. I was really hoping through DLC or patch they would have added actual battle arenas or even just retrofitted the current tracks into more arena like set ups, but no. This is pretty much the perfect Mario Kart experience for me, and had Battle mode been competent I'd say this is the perfect Mario Kart game period, at least for now. Looking back at my first blog about this game I wish I could take back what I said (I guess I could, but I won't). I bitched at length about how unfair and annoying the game was to play, and while it is totally true that the game can be unfair which leads to, sometimes excessive, frustration, I was just venting that frustration at the time. Even during losses the game maintains its fun factor. Though I will say, Mario Kart has a peculiar way of making first place feel like non-accomplishment.

Seriously though, I find myself really searching for things to bitch about with this DLC, I think that speaks to how great of a game this truly is. It is insane to me that I'm more excited to play and have had more fun with a Mario Kart game than a Smash Bros game in a generation, but somehow on the Wii U that is exactly what happened. It truly baffles me that when someone suggests Smash I hurriedly suggest Kart instead, and every time end up having much more fun playing it. Not only does Mario Kart 8 have a beautiful look that will last for years, it has solid gameplay, the amount of content is fantastic, and well complemented by the DLC.

For those rare few of you who actually sat through all of my meandering babbling (or mayhaps you just scrolled down here in which case touche sir) I have complied a short list of things I quite like about Mario Kart 8. I've quite aptly titled this short list:

Five things about Mario Kart 8 that make me feel great
5. Discovering new shortcuts.
4. Managing to trick a thrown blue shell into hitting another player when you've been leading the pack the entire time.
3. Drifting just along the edge of oblivion or the off track portion and boosting ahead of the competition.
2. Watching someone get hit with a blue shell while avoiding the blast yourself earning first.
1. Hitting someone with a green shell. While hitting them with a well aimed shot feels amazing, hitting them with a well aimed rebound of the wall is even more satisfying. Even if it's just an accident you can play it off like you're an expert.