The Many Faults of New Super Mario Bros 2

What a load of shit.

Super Mario Bros should be much better than this. My hatred for this game is a little sad, since it technically isn't a bad game, just what happened to standards? This is such a blatant and awful cash in it's shameful. I'm all about getting more Mario games, but, ugh.

Okay. So what does the game do successfully? Uh. Well, it's Super Mario Bros, more specifically New Super Mario Bros. Recently I discovered an article on one of my favorite game based websites Destructoid.com that discussed the difference between the Super Mario Bros series and the New Super Mario Bros. It's something that when you look at the series it's really obvious but everyone either misses it or only notices it subconsciously. I too didn't really recognize it until the article spelled it out for me. You can read the article here, but it boils down to the New Super Mario Bros being a stop gap series when they're either working on the next big Mario game, or they haven't started working on the next one.

What I don't understand is the truly excellent Super Mario 3D Land came out not even a year ago and they feel the need to release this. Like I've said the game itself isn't technically bad, just incredibly underwhelming to the point where I feel almost betrayed by the lack of heart put into this game.

New Super Mario Bros comes out on the DS. It reinvigorates a lot of gamers cause it goes back to the basics. It's a pretty decent game, but after I beat it I just could not get back into it. New Super Marios Bros Wii comes out for the Wii, obviously. It feels exactly like the last game, I mean the levels are different and they add in some really great suits and Mario has a really fun and hectic full fledged four player co-op mode. That alone made the title worth it. Though, again, after beating the game I can't get back into it.

I want to make a note really quick here, a lot of people I've talked to about my issue with the New Mario series is that I can't replay levels after beating them say well that's pretty typical of games in general. While it's not a requirement that the levels be so much fun that I want to go back and replay them, it's part of what makes Mario, at least in a 2D sense, Mario to me. I can still go back and play the NES Mario games, Mario World, Yoshi's Island over and over again. But for some reason with the New Super Mario games I just do not have that drive. More often than not I get a feeling of "Oh crap, I have to replay this level to get this Star Coin" as opposed to deciding, "Hey. I think I'm going to play some Super Mario Bros 3 for a bit even though I've got a bunch of games I've yet to beat." There's something in those games that Nintendo has failed to recapture in the New Super Mario Bros series, and to a lesser extent the 3D games. The 3D games are, in my opinion, an entirely different type of platformer though and I'll talk about that at a later time possibly.

Anyway, what the fuck does New Super Mario Bros 2 bring to the table? Coins out the ass. Ugh. I'll save my biggest gripe for a bit later, but seriously this coin thing doesn't hold enough weight to carry the entire game. So one of the big things they brought back was the raccoon suit Mario. Who already came back in a glorious manner in Super Mario 3D Land (technically it was tanooki Mario, but really they serve the same purpose). Sorry, all of my wonder was used up there. I mean, you did it perfect. You not only brought the leaf back you let enemies have tails. How fucking cute is that? I'm not disappointed the leaf is back, it just doesn't wow me after the last game. There are three new suits however. The coin block head, which is actually pretty neat. The more momentum you get the more coins you spawn, which in a game all about collecting coins is super helpful. The golden fire flower, again a pretty cool idea, though overpowered as hell. It acts like a fire flower with a pow block effect tacked on that turns everything in the pow block effect into coins, again fitting for the game. The last power up isn't really new, but kind of technically is. The white raccoon suit. It acts exactly the same as the white tanooki suit from Mario 3D Land in that you have the raccoon power with unlimited invincibility for the level. This only shows up when you fail to beat a level several times in a row. Another fun thing to note, if you beat a level with this suit it's not considered beaten until you go back and re-beat it as regular Mario. Even the creators of the game don't approve of this power up.

They really tried to draw players in again with a "HEY LOOK WHO'S BACK!" but they really missed the mark. I already discussed how the raccoon suit already came back in Super Mario 3D Land basically, and the Koopa Kids showed up again finally back in New Super Mario Bros Wii, so they already used up that trump card, though I do love getting to fight these guys again so it's not a negative in anyway. Finally comes Reznor. I was so afraid they would do what they did and then they did it. When the game was being previewed they pushed a couple of things. Coins and Reznor were pretty much the big two main draws. But they only boss they showed coming back was Reznor. I was really worried he was going to end up being the only boss that showed up from previous games. It's so much worse. As opposed to having any real diversity they put Reznor as the mid boss EVERY. SINGLE. WORLD. What the fuck? They could have so easily cameo'd other mid-bosses, or even made up new bosses. Shit. They could have put a spin(pun intended) on how you fight Reznor. Nope. He's kicking it on a wheel and all you gotta do is hit the blocks he's standing on to beat him. Sure they throw more Reznor's at you but there is no difficulty or real change in the boss fight at all. Ultimate disappointment.

Uninspired level design. Sheesh. They really put little to no effort into these levels. Not a single one is memorable in anyway really. There's certainly some level diversity, and none of the levels are particularly bad, but in order for a level to be bad it would have to actually stand out, which these levels do not. None of the star coins are hidden in particularly hidden areas this time around. Once you figure out that "Hey. I can't see this one star coin! I should look for a hidden vine block, or maybe a hole I can fall into that is actually a hidden path." Literally, those are the two most common places you should be looking if you're missing a star coin. The game has six main worlds with three, levels you unlock by finding secret exits to canons then going through pretty fast running level. These areas look cool with their blue and white design, but there's no real difficulty in getting through them. If you jump where you see lines of coins you'll make it just fine. Even better, if you have the raccoon suit guess what. Since you're constantly running as fast as possible the ability of flight is constantly active during these segments so you can just, pretty much, automatically get through them. I need to stress that none of the levels in this game are intrinsically bad, they just feel so uninspired and as if Nintendo is just retreading the same ground they've already covered previously.

The last thing I really need to bitch about is the inclusion of the million coin goal. This is such obnoxious fluff and a pointless goal to set your eyes on. After beating the game 100% otherwise. Found all star/moon coins, beat every single level and found every secret exit which forced me to replay various levels multiple times I only had around 40,000 coins. Do you know how far away from a million that is? This wouldn't be so bad if the levels were a joy to play. They certainly aren't a chore, but I already wrote about how the levels just feel uninspired and really provide me with no reason to want to play through them again. Especially not enough to earn an addition 960,000 coins. Do you see that? I would need to go through the same process of 100%ing the game 24 times! Obviously not entirely accurate, but still fuck that. There is an extra mode called Coin Rush where the coins you find there are added to your total and it offers some ways to multiple your coin total, but I really can't get into it. You simply don't enough coins fast enough to warrant this exercise in futility. Yes, futility. Do you know what happens when you put that last coin in the bank and reach that lofty goal? A new fucking title screen. I mean, I'm glad there's not another world of levels you unlock afterwards, only due to the insane task they set forth, but really, JUST a new title screen for putting THAT much time into this game that is simply not worth it? Hah! Another arbitrary goal added into this game is to max out your lives at 1100. This is a little more reasonable, but still after beating the game 100% I only had accumulated 555 lives. That's almost half, and I would definitely earn the other half while grinding for the rest of my coin hoard. But the kicker here is really what you earn for that. You lose your hat. I don't get how that's a reward. In Super Mario Bros 64 I'm fairly certain you lost your hat after getting attacked by an enemy, sooooo how is it a good thing now?

Basically my problem is the game just feels so much so like Nintendo is just going through the motions. A buzzer went off in their offices and a team was set to create another Mario game because it was just that time again. I complained a lot about this game, but again, it's not a "bad game". If you have the chance to play it I really do suggest doing so. I really don't suggest getting to involved in the game, enjoy it as a filler Mario title and nothing more. I REALLY suggest not purchasing the game for full price and waiting for it drop in price, which as a Mario title it never will. So borrow it from your poor sap of a friend who bought it like I did. I think that's where most of my outrage stems from. Actually have shelled out the money for this and beating it in two days of not serious gaming.

Before I started to write this, I wrote a simple chart of the pros and cons of this game. The only thing I wrote as a positive was it's a Mario game. I note this because near the beginning of this I asked "So what does the game do successfully?" and then proceeded straight into critiquing the game. It's so strange how much I dislike this game, but I still can't help but giving it a tentative recommendation. I really hope that Nintendo doesn't start focusing on pumping more Mario titles out, like they started to with some of his spin off titles, and really pulls the reigns in and focuses on giving us gamers what we really want. Quality platforming. I'm fully confident the core Mario series will continue to deliver, but it depresses me that the New Super Mario Bros series looks to continue the pattern of quickly tossed together then shipped out platformers bringing scant new innovations, inspiration or even just heart that I've come to expect out of a Mario title.